Chapter 5
Within a month and a half after my near-death experience, while still being plagued by spirits, a high school friend introduced me to a church where I gave my life to the Lord. From that day forward my destination was decided. I was going to heaven, but I still had a lot of confusion in my spiritual walk and bondages that plagued me. It is because of these bondages that I still searched for a closer relationship with my Lord within the practices of New Age: energy healing, mind control, talking with familiar spirits, believing in reincarnation, etc. Accepting Jesus as my Saviour did not instantaneously fix all of my problems and pains. I have learned that sometimes healing occurs miraculously and while other times God heals through a loving process. Either way, God is faithful and restores our souls.
I finally decided on a career pursuing Massage Therapy. I figured through bending the rules a little, as an R.M.T., I would be able to practice 'New Age' healing on the public and do great miraculous things for God. I thought I was given the gift of healing as a child and I had a great hunger to use it to its fullest potential. By this time I had already studied a fair amount in New Age (really, very old healing) and was practicing it on an almost daily basis. Shortly after starting college, in fact in the middle of my first midterm exams, a few friends and I got together to watch "The Ultimate Fighting Challenge"; (a competition where on average one fighter dies every year). The UFC strongly appealed to the trained martial arts side of me. I was a green or blue belt at the time. After the video was finished, and being guys, we decided to wrestle in the living room. I was one of the first people to start. In all of my days, I had always been a distance fighter and never a wrestler. My opponent was definitely a wrestler. In our duel I got tangled up and skipping the details, I fractured my arm clean through in two places. My left arm was completely toast. When my bone broke it cracked so loudly that it sounded like a healthy tree branch broke off of a large tree outside. I remember looking out the window to see if that was what truly happened and lay down in shock immediately after finding out that my wrist was laying on the floor when it should have been by my face. Either I grew a second elbow or my arm was broken. Using my mental distancing skills I bore the pain so well that even the macho men were impressed. In fact, I studied for my next days' exam in the ambulance on the way to the hospital. After being casted, my prognosis was not favorable. My orthopedic surgeon told me I would have to be in a cast for at least 8 weeks. Unacceptable in a hands-on school. Within a couple of days, loaded with Demerol my parents took me home. The drive hurt. I felt every bump of that two hour drive.
It just happened that our next-door neighbor at that time was a second level cranial sacral practitioner. He had treated me in the past and was very good at what he did. He inadvertently taught me a lot when we conversed. That week when he worked on my arm I almost couldn't believe what I felt. The sensations and results fascinated me. As he worked I could feel my bones literally grating within my arm and knitting together in an accelerated fashion. Even though the cast my bones lined up and began to heal. It confirmed to me everything I thought I had to do. I yearned to learn to do this myself. When I went back up to school in the town of Sutton, I taught my new friend Gary the art of energy work. Even though he had never done it before, almost immediately he could feel my bones moving without even touching my skin. The sensations for the two of us were rather radical! Gary was also searching for spiritual enlightenment and truth. We learned a lot together and from each other. Gary could be best described as a six-foot tall, skinny, loving teddy bear. He had a true servant's heart and I loved him for it. Because of our close spiritual walk together, our relationship deepened quickly. Deeper than any other I had ever known. We soon trusted each other with our lives. He learned quickly as I taught him the therapies of Cranial Sacral, Shiatsu and Therapeutic Touch. Often his energetic strength and powers would surprise me as I felt the heat of his hands while working on me. As I expected, my arm healed two times faster than any other person my age. My doctor was thoroughly impressed. I even, cockily, cut off my own cast at four weeks and started doing push-ups almost right away. I wanted to rehab my arm as quickly as possible. It is within this season of my life that the uncontrollable spiritual manifestations began. Because my arm was doing so well Gary & I decided to begin work with somato-emotional releases (ridding negative and hurtful memories left in our bodies and souls). We relived "past lives", honed skills that allowed us to see and speak to spirits that inhabited rooms with us, and protected ourselves from them with our energy. We also learned how to strengthen our aura, project and direct energy, see living creatures through walls, project spiritual sight into great distances while accurately observing what was occurring in real-time. We seemingly cast out spirits with our energetic forces and we even eventually channeled spirits upon occasion. I am sure there was more but presently I do not recall. Before long, members within our school would call us in a panic when they felt spiritual attacks in their homes and ask us to come and take care of it. We became the "Ghost Busters" of Sutton: fighting on the spiritual plane. It seemed at the time to be exhilarating, awe-inspiring and at times terrifying. To give you an example: I would be walking home alone and feel the presence of a spirit walking within one foot behind me. It felt like it towered over me. The spirit also had the face of an angry, decaying, laughing skull from the pit of hell. Burning with hatred, anger, and inflicting fear upon me. It wore a black cloak that covered its head and it projected into my mind a voice that sounded like the screams of many tormented, lost souls.
Chapter 6
This was just one of three spirits I truly feared. Often I would have to run to my destination and barricade myself in my room to "protect" myself from it. The second spirit was one of murder that affected my life. This same spirit that almost made me give that boy the killing blow during my fight in grade one. I became afraid of expressing true anger because I was trained through martial arts how to kill & destroy and I didn't know how far I would actually go if I lost control. Even in my sleep, I would often fight these spirits in the martial arts style. Almost like Bruce lee. The third spirit I feared was unique to the other two. This one I named "Nasty Lips" to try to deaden my fear of it. I believed I picked up this spirit while playing with a Ouija board as a child with a friend, never seeing its true colors until I was an adult. I remember once I was sitting in the living room with Gary having a conversation about spirituality and time. When I noticed 'Nasty Lips' enter through the wall. Upon entering he looked through the room and then immediately came at me while I sat with a broken arm in a physically and emotionally weakened state. I knew he wanted me. Fear struck me in almost a paralyzing way, but I could not show it on the outside without bringing risk to myself. I told Gary he was here with us and he agreed with me. Gary said when the spirit entered he felt something change in the air but he did not know what. The spirit made a move for me, and I began to cower in fear. I did not know what he wanted (there is no such thing as a good spirit. Some spirits actually dress in false light to gain your trust but eventually they show their dark colors). I whimpered "Gary, he is coming!!!" Gary quickly moved between it and me and asked, "What do I do?" My reply was either "I don't know" or "you already know". Immediately Gary raised his arm out toward it and spoke with great authority, declaring that he was protecting me and that the spirit had no right to touch me. Despite that, the spirit still drew closer. Gary, now observing this dynamic, began to shout at it! Commanding it to leave his house and leave us alone. He rose to his feet in authoritarian anger. Immediately it stopped its approach. I rose out my hand in agreement with his and 'Nasty Lips' left. Gary and I both felt him leave at the same time and momentarily we were safe. For protection, we slept in the same room that night and through the many experiences like these we became closer than brothers. Through the many experiences like these I tried to shield myself. I feared that if the spirit got to me it could easily re-fracture my arm. Needless to say, that was the last thing I wanted. I knew he would be back at another time when I was weak. Our lives continued like this for months. There were many great times, and there were some horrifying times just for balance it seemed. We adapted quickly and got used to seeing spirits everywhere we went, observing objects fall out of nowhere with no one near them and waging spiritual warfare on a tangible level. Others around us knew it, and they knew I could read their minds. Many feared us. Hopefully, now you are getting a picture. I also began to play with telekinesis, bending the fabrics of time, creative visualization and work with deep energy spiritual healing.
Through Gary I was introduced to a young woman who had her own struggles with depression, among many other things. She had a truly genuine, gentle spirit. I saw her as a blooming rose tormented by the rain. Her name was Carol and she became another true friend. She had burdens that were so heavy I did not understand how she bore it. She had been through so much. Multiple medications and hospitals. My heart broke out of empathy (not pity) for her. Carol had a "snotty" cat named Shakti (named after the New Age leader Shakti Gawain). Her cat and I spoke often to each other in our silent language. To this day I am glad that the three of us were brought together. Carol was also a "gifted" individual. She excelled in many areas and I learned a fair amount from her, from trust to aromatherapies and chakras. It wasn't long before Gary, Carol and I became almost inseparable. We shared everything except our bodies with each other and experienced a level of trust that could not be compared anywhere else outside of marriage. With the three of us working as a team we performed regression therapies and uncovered more (of what I thought to be) "past lives" and spiritual bondages. I can recall one night when we all slept in her king-size bed (clothes on). I woke them both up speaking what sounded to be fluent Japanese in a shouting voice. That particular night while sleeping I was fighting a spiritual fight, Bruce Lee style. That night I also "discovered" that I was a world war one vet that died of bleeding on the battlefield. Another "past life" I was fooled to recall myself as a peasant girl dead broke in some town. The list can go on but before I do I must share that through my experience I have obtained an interesting stance on past lives. I am sure you will want to hear it.
Have you ever been attacked by the spirit world? Have you ever had graphic pictures play through your mind without your consent? Have you ever had a nightmare and woke up thinking it was too real? Have you dreamt something and thought it was too real to be just a dream? If you answered yes to any of those questions then we have some common ground. I believe that just as the spirit world can torment you, they can plant nightmares and dreams that seem incredibly "too real" in your head. If you open yourself to it, the spirit world can influence you by playing movies in your mind in first person, with false feelings of intense familiarity. It seems "so real" that it must have been you in another life. I believed in past lives with all my heart at the time but now my eyes have been opened to the 'Truth'. I now understand that the movies that played in my mind (when it came to past lives) were manifested from the invisible realm that surrounded and influenced me. The visions were definitely not originating from my soul (even though it seemed "so" real). In fact, given the right opportunity, the spiritual world around us can change our body chemistry in a manner that manifests itself physically (science can prove it). Another example: Have you ever had a thought run through your mind starting with the word or words "I" or "I wonder" or "I should" and the thought was not like your normal personality but sounded like your thought and your voice? It is the same concept. It is the spirit world influencing you. I will be the first to admit that it convincingly appears like a past life, or like your own thought. But it's not. It is a form of torment that you can be freed from. I have been freed from it.
Chapter 7
It takes just as much blind faith to believe in reincarnation & visions of "past lives" than it does to believe that it may be a trick or lie. For a long time I believed firmly in reincarnation & past lives but as a Christian, I now see that it was a lie that held me back from true freedom. I can honestly say that there is far more freedom and joy in knowing that there is a loving, all-knowing and powerful God walking with me through every step of my life and waiting for me with open arms to usher me into the final, eternal destination of Heaven. I now find it hard to believe that I accepted the alternative deception of just another life around the bend to bring me new experiences and "spiritual knowledge."
An "old soul" is just a person blessed with a given degree of wisdom. I used to consider myself to be an "old soul" and people to this day call me by that terminology. But now I know better. Look at Solomon in the Old Testament. His wisdom could have him labeled one of the "oldest souls" out there. His wisdom was greater than any other persons' in history. But in his wisdom, he also spoke of one God above all else. Jehovah. Solomon's wisdom was a gift from that God, not from centuries of lives.
Oh, and as I promised: when I flatlined back in high school things felt familiar because I was freed of my body and living through my eternal Spirit. Biblically speaking, we are born as eternal beings. Even while on earth we are living the start of our eternal life. Our spirit already exists within the spiritual realm and is familiar with the many happenings within it and that is why it felt familiar to be free from my physical body. For a moment I was existing in my purest form, free from the confines of my flesh and it was refreshing. Our spirits were created to commune and communicate directly with our Creator. But before our spirits can communicate freely with God, we must choose to allow ourselves to be reborn. You see, because of the way we (stemming back to Adam and Eve) have chosen our world to work, we are automatically born spiritually blind, separated from God and damned to hell. All we have to do is choose to be reborn by believing that Jesus Christ is our Saviour to have an intimate relationship with the true Creator for all time. Until we are reborn and have that direct communication with the Creator we will always be searching to fill that spiritual void with counterfeit experiences and navigating blindly through the world searching and falling short of the full glory. We have a choice. We often get in our own way of true enlightenment. Because the 'Truth' I've just shared is hard for many people to intellectually grasp or accept (as simple as it is), we choose to look elsewhere and continue to fall short of the great blessings that wait for us.
Ask yourself honestly, have you really spiritually found everything you crave? Why do you still search for that one experience that could be better, or bring you to a higher level of fulfillment? Why do you consistently reject the only one that can fill all of your needs and lift you to the highest level of authority & joy? The answer is in WAR. Satan does not want you to find true freedom, joy, or everlasting life. He can only feed you sour fruit for nourishment (even though at first it may taste sweet). You don't need to understand this in your mind to accept the 'Truth' in your heart. Do you need to fully, intellectually understand the laws of gravity before they apply to you? Everyone stuck to the earth before Newton was born! New age energy, pre-marital sex, alcohol, drugs, meditative light, all counterfeits for the real McCoy. Sweet tasting at first, but poison in the end. Accept it or not, but it is 'Truth'. That is why you are probably angry with me and not wanting to read anymore. Move on with your life and accept the 'Truth'; that is the hard part. The rest will come. Join me & the rest of God's family; spend eternity in the awesome rapture of Heaven. You don't have to give everything up right now, just accept Jesus. Say the words "Jesus, I accept you as my personal Saviour. Show me your true love." You will never regret it!
Back to our story.
Unlike myself, my friend Carol had three angels that she prayed to constantly. She believed them to be her guardian angels. They always seemed to protect her. She actually prayed to them more than her idea of god - what she believed to be the universal whole at that time. About one year after we met, she finally saw her angels as what they truly were. Fallen angels of darkness dressed as light. Their real faces were hideous, but because of their loving "light" masks, she trusted them with all her being most of the days of her life. It took a rather traumatic experience for her to learn that the only ONE worth praying to is the God of the Holy Bible - Father, Son & Holy Ghost. Give it long enough and you will eventually find the same. Gary prayed more to a god he saw just as "The Higher Power" and I prayed to a god that I thought was composed of a bit of everything, including a little bit of Christianity, mostly the universal energy as a whole. In my own ignorance to the 'Truth', I was confused because the Christian God seemed so much smaller than the stuff we were doing. I say honestly that it was an exciting time full of new and great experiences - "The never-ending battle between good and evil" - Though now I wish I had never experienced any of it.
One of our most climactic moments occurred at Carol's friend's cottage. Over the years, I had learned to communicate with animals telepathically (Carol's cat Shakti & I had quite the relationship); however every wild animal I knew automatically feared me. I think it was the aggressive murderous spirit that they saw me battling inside. It scared them even though that bondage played a fairly passive role. I remember once allowing that spirit of murder to manifest in me for observation (and healing) and I destroyed a snowbank that was half ice in a matter of minutes with my own hands. That was the day Gary and Carol learned to fear what was inside me and I still wasn't rid of my torment. Since then God has healed me from everything and I am very thankful. That will come later.
Chapter 8
Ok. The cottage story. It starts with me in the basement of the house I was living in. My massage table was set up and Carol was beginning energy therapy on me. Sometimes we found that somato-emotional releases could become fairly extreme. Our bodies would go into seizure-like convulsions, and the type of sounds our voices made would raise curiosity to any onlooker. My landlords were in the house at that time and my body felt as though I was about to encounter something big. After expressing my discomfort to Carol about the situation, she spontaneously suggested that we go up to her cottage. Great idea that it was, we called Gary, packed our stuff and within an hour we were on the road to our 'healing retreat'. It was also a good idea because for spiritual reasons, some things you don't want to do in your home.
The drive up to the cottage was incredible. The weather was gorgeous, spring was just breaking and we all anticipated another incredible weekend. We were free!!! I remember it clearly. Harry Connick and Holly Cole were the musicians of choice. And "I Can See Clearly Now" was our theme song of the trip. We reached the cottage and took a nature break for the remainder of the afternoon. We went for walks and just enjoyed our surroundings. We began our healing journey after we had finished dinner. I set up the massage table in the living room beside the wood stove and Gary climbed on first. His 'releases' followed the direction they had been going for the past few weeks. He came out feeling better than ever. Carol went second and 'battled' her depression and came out victorious that night. She felt better than she had in a long time. Then it was my turn. I hesitated at first, but after some coaxing decided to go ahead. Gary was positioned at my head and Carol at my side. We always lay on our backs. I began shaking and releasing and the process began. It was a truly beautiful moment. The love and trust that we shared openly with each other was so pure and beautiful. Again I felt great heat radiating from Gary's hands. I openly accepted and embraced the "loving light". I felt multiple little 'releases' leave my flesh in waves. It felt like I was being touched with healing water repeatedly. I was about to call it quits and relax when all of a sudden a traumatic sight and voice penetrated my mind. It horrified me. The words it spoke to me were simple yet profound "You are nothing". Instantaneously I felt like a little helpless pea about to be consumed. Graphic pictures of death uncontrollably ran through my mind and I immediately let out a cry of desperation that grabbed Gary and Carol's attention. They asked me what was wrong while I cowered. I told them what I heard and they urged me to continue. A part of me didn't want to go through with it and another part really wanted to rid that entity from my mind. I eventually chose to continue. The voices that spoke through my mind were deep and ominous. They reminded me of one of the lions in the 'Ghost Buster' movie. I violently shook as I tried to shake the influence of this spirit from me and after great struggle I found victory. The spirit left. The shaking immediately stopped and I felt crystal clear. Everything felt so clean and pure. All three of us looked at each other with joy in our eyes. We momentarily embraced.
While we shared the joy in our embrace, Carol's body all of a sudden flinched. Gary and I immediately took her and sat her on the table. I knew what was happening and I did not want it to happen. Carol kept on shaking as she questioningly called my name. Before I had a chance to utter a reply, Carol's eyes rolled to the back of her head and her grunting voice changed pitch and timbre. When her eyes returned the Carol I knew was no longer there. My familiar spirit 'Nasty Lips' took her place and Carol was definitely possessed. I figured the spirit must have left me and found Carol to be a weaker vessel and took her. His eyes were dark and ominous. There was a cocky half-smile on his face and he seemed to look right through me. As the possessed Carol stared through me I could tell there was only one thing on her mind: how much damage a baseball bat or axe could do to the side of my skull if she swung it. Even her voice, the way she spoke and the words that were chosen changed from the normal her.
I showed no fear. It was like the Carol I knew was swept away to the side and put in a prison cell in her own mind. The beautiful rose of a woman was replaced by this hideous, angry, ugly, cocky, arrogant, aggressive, spirit. A part of me just died inside to see what I did to her. I knew what she was going through. I had to live with this spirit for years and she did not deserve this. The spirit wanted to injure both Gary and I, but for some reason, it didn't. I spoke to it, to stall for time until I could devise a plan to get rid of it. Gary was looking at me expectantly and I had yet to figure out what to do. The look and mannerisms of Carol had become so different I was almost tempted to remove her shirt to see if any new scars or tattoos were on her body. That, however, was inappropriate. The spirit and I exchanged wits for only a minute or two until I understood what to do. I believe Gary remained calm through the whole incident. He always impressed me. I grew to recognize this spirit as the type that probably reigned in violent adrenaline junkie gangs that raped and killed for fun. At any rate I was dealing with a murderer and there were steak knives within 10 feet of us in the kitchen drawers. It knew it. I knew it. Gary knew it. In an instant when I noticed it was preoccupied fighting Carol from within, I threw out my arm and 'shot' it with energy. I then proceeded to move toward Carol's head and I instructed Gary toward her feet. Together we worked to 'set her free'.
Let me digress for a moment.
I remember a few months before I had an experience with this spirit in the form of double-mindedness. I was watching a special on the 10 most vicious criminals in America and one stuck in my mind. This criminal was a 30-year-old man that kidnapped small children. Mainly boys aged 10 to 13. He raped them, tortured them, then killed them and stored the bodies in his basement. He committed this act so many times that his basement got too full and he had to start burying the bodies in the back yard. The day the police entered his house to discuss a fairly trivial matter; a strong smell of decay on top of the air freshener gave him away. They found too many bodies to count rotting everywhere. This story repulsed me. I made me want to vomit inside. Immediately I wanted to turn off the TV. Then in an instant, I heard in my mind, in first person, "hhhmmm I wonder what it would be like to do that. That man showed courage, I respect him." I immediately hated myself for thinking such thoughts. Then I realized that even though the thoughts were worded in first person, it was not originating from my mind. It was this spirit trying to plant thoughts in my head.
I knew that all this spirit had to do was tell Carol to walk off of a cliff, and because of Carol's suicidal tendencies, she would without hesitation. I genuinely feared for Carol's life.
Gary and I began to plow Carol's body full of energy. I intensely channeled light and energy into her like I never had before. She was at this point lying on her back and shaking like a leaf. All three of us fought with all of our might. The spirit screamed as it lost ground. Gary was praying the entire time. I felt as though so much energy was traveling through me I could power a small plant. The fight ensued for what seemed to be a very long time. In real-time probably about ten or twenty minutes. One moment the spirit would be there yelling, shouting curses and trying to intimidate us with evil glances. And the other minute Carol would return crying in pain as this entity tormented her. The small glimpses I saw of her was enough to keep me trying until we found victory. Carol's body violently flailed, pounding the table multiple times with her arms and legs until finally with a great flex of her body (which almost threw her off the table for a third time) she came back. In one piece. Praise the Lord! She was really back. I watched with my spiritual eyes as the spirit flew from Carol, looked at me, and realized I was impenetrable at the moment. Gary was still in prayer, so it flew out of the cottage and began to travel around the entire area, as far as the highway in anger, trying to find its next victim. I even watched as it moved toward some major city. I looked deep into Carol's eyes and saw it was really her. I was almost moved to tears, but in too much shock to express it. I had to get my bearing. It was obvious she was absolutely exhausted. She had no recollection of what happened at the time so we filled her in. For the moment we felt safe.
Once again the bond between us had grown to a higher level. We sat for a few minutes in awe until we realized how hungry and exhausted we all were from the battle. When we all stood to go to the kitchen and eat, it happened again. Carol stopped in her tracks. Her eyes began to roll and she began to fall back. Gary and I both called her name out of desperation to try to stop the possession from happening again but it was too late. She was taken. Again. Immediately, but reluctantly, we took our places for energy therapy and began. After a short period of time I realized that we were not succeeding. My flesh was willing but weak and tired. My energy, strong as it was, wasn't shaking Carol free. I could see deep inside that Carol was losing the battle as well. We could not give up. We couldn't afford to. We would stay up all night if we had to. Gary noticed that I was frustrated and swaying. In wisdom, he decided to ask me to pray. At first, I thought it was ludicrous and redundant because I thought what we were doing was already a form of a prayer. But since my way wasn't working it was time to try anything. "What should we pray?" I asked. "Lets pray the way God taught us to pray" (after all he taught us to pray like that for a reason). So we began. "Our Father. Who art in heaven..." The spirit instantly screamed with fear. Carol's shaking and flailing had become very severe. We knew we were on a roll. "Hallowed be thy name... Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth, as it is in heaven." This prayer was not new to any of us, but we chose to not really use it in the past because it seemed inferior to the tangible forces that we learned to tap into. We were wrong. "Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses. As we forgive those who trespassed against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, forever and ever, Amen.. Our Father, Who art in heaven.." We started the prayer over again because we did not know what else to do. Carol was still releasing and she still needed to be set free. Over the next hour, we did nothing but pray that prayer over an over again. Repeatedly... In fact we did it so much that the order began to scramble in our minds.
With every prayer, the spirit lost more ground. We realized this was a lot easier than channeling energy and God really heard each part of the prayer. Every time we prayed words like "thy kingdom come, thy will be done" the spirit screamed in frustration as it lost ground. And "Give us this day our daily bread" brought us more and more strength to do it again. At the end of the hour Gary and I, with great determination, were shouting the words and forgetting how they went. Carol had almost won, but we became so confused that it was hard to continue. In desperation, I decided to make a long-distance call to my girlfriend at the time. She was already aware of some of the things I had been up to in the past, and we needed another prayer warrior. The time was about 12:30 and I pulled her out of bed. Thankfully she understood and relayed the prayer words across the phone to me successfully and Carol was almost free. By the third time of repeating the prayer, the spirit of confusion came over even her. She could not remember the words. So I thanked her for her efforts and asked her just to pray for us in the meantime. Inside I could feel her prayers helping our situation. Gary and I exchanged looks at each other then looked at Carol, soaked with sweat, completely exhausted and almost free. Gary began to command the spirit to leave in Jesus' name and I agreed (Gary always carried authority with him). "In Jesus' name I command you to leave!!!" "Be Gone in Jesus name! The Lamb of God." We both began to speak with great authority and power. And our words were powerful and answered. Within just a few more minutes the spirit was gone. Carol quickly sat up and led us in a beautiful prayer to God thanking him and praising him. We all agreed and added our own words to it. There was a pregnant moment of silence and peace, a peace that could only have been of God. A peace that was greater than any peace found in meditation or embracing light or anything I had ever known. In this peace, I felt so overwhelmed that I eventually collapsed into a flurry of emotions. It was so good to see Carol again! I thought for a while we never would. I felt so guilty for allowing all of this to happen. I was extremely week and deeply traumatized. I did not know how to deal with it all. I wept uncontrollably, Carol and Gary supported me. I was so relieved that the Christian God - Jesus Christ - was all He said He was. I was so glad I could finally rest after a 3 or 4 hour stint of straight warfare. After I had calmed down, we all rejoiced in the peace and focused on being able to sleep that night.
We became concerned because we new that Satan's henchman (evil spirit / demon) could, and probably would, come in the night and try to possess Carol again. It is just the way Satan commands his army. He steals in the night. He fights 24 hours a day, 7 days a week and waits until you are down & weak to kick you and divide his spoils. His army is strategized, relentless, tireless and above all, has no honor, respect, or code of ethics. He attacks at every moment he can and you cannot beat him with your own strength. We all knew this, but we just praised in the moment anyway. I just want to take a moment to say, thank you Lord, for being stronger than 'New Age'. Stronger than fear and death itself. You really do love us with all your heart and will set us free from anything that attempts to harm or has harmed us. You can and will set us free from anything, no matter how strong it seems. All we have to do is ask. Thank you for being so faithful. So forgiving, so loving. And so kind. Thank you.
The rest of the night was really rich. So rich I can't find a way to give it justice with words. The time was just anointed. I called my girlfriend again and told her everything was under control. Somehow she already knew. When it came time to sleep, Gary suggested that one of us should keep watch over the others at all times. Just in case Satan tried to sneak in while we slept. He assumed first watch and woke me up sometime later. I think I lasted no more than five seconds before I hit my pillow. I was so wiped I couldn't even get up to post my watch.
Chapter 9
I remember the next morning with great clarity and fondness. As with after any sort of true spiritual healing, the sun seemed extra bright that day. The bird's singing was extra sweet. The air was refreshingly pure, and we soaked in every moment and ray of light we could get. That morning I had my first wild chipmunk eat from the palm of my hand. It brought such joy to my soul. (Remember, animals were afraid of me before). It was a real confirmation to me that I was healed. Words can not fully express. We left for home late that morning. I had never felt so free in my entire life. During the drive home we rejoiced and sang loudly with the same theme songs multiple times and reveled in the glory that surrounded us. This moment could not have been compared to any other. I was free like a child in an adult's world. Everything seemed new.
About halfway home (still with great smiles of acceptance of each other on our faces) Gary bowed his head for a moment. I thought he was just praying and giving God glory until I saw his hand position. He was purging!! I called his name quickly to try to stop him but it was too late. Gary flinched as he released energy and took a sigh of relief. Almost immediately Carol lost control of the car. We were doing over 80 km/h when the car started leaving the road. Gary quickly grabbed the wheel and commanded Carol to get her foot off of the gas. Carol was under attack again. At that time we did not know the Bible teaches that when you cast out a spirit you must fill yourself with the Holy Spirit. If you don't, the evil spirit will come back, see you all cleaned up and invite seven of his friends to cause more trouble than he did in the first place. That is exactly what happened. The Holy Spirit is a part of the Trinity - a part of God moving in your life here on earth; one of the many gifts from God when you accept Him. See, we were able to use the authority of the Lord's Prayer and the power of Jesus' name even though neither Gary nor Carol had accepted Jesus (the Biblically defined Jesus Christ) as their Saviour. So the Holy Spirit wasn't living in them to protect them from such an onslaught. We can know the name of Jesus & use his authority, but what we really need is for Him to know us back!
Carol's foot was still pushing the accelerator and I did not know what was going to happen. In a way, I had to expect anything. I quickly tightened my seatbelt as Gary fought with Carol for control of the car. With a bit of swerving and a lot of yelling, we managed to pull over with no injuries. I ran out from the back seat and opened the driver door. We put Carol in the back and momentarily argued who would drive the car. I did not know where we were and Gary didn't want to drive standard. I think I drove the rest of the way and Gary sat with Carol praying. Miraculously Carol returned to her own consciousness & regained control of her self by the time we got home. But we all knew there was a battle still going on. We now knew we were in over our heads. The day was a Friday and the weekend was upon us. Gary recalled that he had a friend that previously had an exorcism performed on her by a priest a few months back. All three of us agreed that he should go back to his hometown to contact her and try to see if there is something that can be done. Against my best wisdom I reluctantly went along with the plan of sending me home to my hometown to get some needed rest before we declared war again. Carol was confident that she could deal with this problem by herself for the two days it would take. I gazed deeply into her eyes to see how she was doing and confirmed she was mostly in control. She did express however that she could not understand how I put up with this my entire life. I was deeply concerned for her well being. After all remember she was suicidal before and could be again. Through the weekend I maintained a close spiritual communication with her as I recharged my batteries. I told no one of what happened except my girlfriend. When it came time to return after the weekend, my spiritual powers became so strong that I could knock out any grown adult with just my energy. I was at my peak. I demonstrated my strength to my girlfriend by putting my hands on either sides of her head and becoming a "power plant". Instantaneously her eyes rolled as she began to fall to the ground. I stopped before she lost control of her body. She marvelled in amazement for a moment but I knew that I couldn't kid myself. I was not going to be enough. It would take God. Even through this was a dark time in our lives, I could still feel us being protected by some unknown force.
When I returned to school, I remember being amazed at how well Carol was coping. Gary had managed to get a photocopy of a 14th-century exorcism. All we had to do was pray it. It seemed almost too easy. None of our homes were suitable for this kind of work so we went splits on a cheap motel room (being students we did not have much money). Carol remained pretty agreeable until we began driving to the motel. As we got closer to the motel her battle got more and more exaggerated. By the time we parked in the parking lot she was raising her voice and arguing with us in the car. "It won't work" "We don't have the money" "I have a really bad feeling about this". Gary and I both knew who was speaking in first person to us, and it was not Carol. In fact we had to verbally fight with her and physically carry her into the room after we booked it.
When we opened the door a strong waft of air hit our noses. The room absolutely reeked of pot. So much so that it almost gave a gag reflex. Gary in his wisdom identified it immediately at warfare. Allow me to draw a parallel for a moment. Do you ever notice that you tend to make excuses when it comes to the really good things like exploring Christianity, going to church, reading even a small book in the bible, or just praying to the Christian God, even just saying the name Jesus? Why do you think you do that? Why did you argue against Christians and no one else when it came to spirituality? Why is it so easy to embrace and accept every other religion other than Christianity? Until you accept the 'Truth', I am sure you can quote many excuses but I think those questions say a lot all on their own. If in seeking the true God you find opposition (especially within yourself) then you are on the right road. The narrow road. Take it for what it is worth; there is an enemy of your spirit that does not want you to find deliverance, true joy and peace. This enemy likes having control over you and he will use every means to keep that control. His means can be subtle or outspoken, but the end is still the same.
Carol really didn't want to be in that hotel room. Or I should say the spirit influencing her did not want her to be in that hotel room - because it knew the end was near and true freedom was approaching. The first thing the exorcism called us to do was to light incense and burn it around the room while praying a prayer of purification. Then it called us to make holy water and told us how. We set Carol on the bed and placed the holy water by her side. There was fear in the eyes of her tormentor as Gary and I knelt to pray. The power that filled the room was unfathomable. The exorcism was seven pages long and took about 15 minutes to pray through. It was incredible every time we put holy /anointed water on Carol's body, the spirit would panic and lose control. Her healing was far less violent than what we had expected. It was as if God just took control and hindered the power of Satan before he even started to remove him from the room. It was less painful to do this when God was allowed to be in total control. Carol's voice still changed to a deep male voice and returned to her own on a few occasions, but this time there was no screaming and no pain. Only peace. She shook for a period and then it was gone. For the first time, I felt the work of the Holy Spirit in a spectacular way. Within minutes, the smell of pot had completely left the room and had been replaced with fresh air. There was a clean protection that filled the room. It was like we were standing on holy ground. We began reading the exorcism for a second time and then realized that it was not needed. All it took was 20 minutes! It was amazing. While I was praying for her, Carol sat up from the bed and held my hand to indicate that she was ok. When I looked into her eyes I saw only love. The spirit was gone. Permanently. Never to return. Praise the Lord. After that day the spirit never did return. It was as if God with his own two hands had stripped away all of its power and authority and placed it in detention somewhere. I believe God did something very special for all three of us that day as we learned that prayer did work. And all we needed was Jesus. No crystals. No Reiki. No shakras... No chi... No powers. No shields. No universal energy.. No meditation. Nothing but Him. And through Him we could do anything. A true miracle of grace.
We left the motel room within one hour of entering it, with smiles, embraces and love. It must have looked curious to the hotel owner when he saw the two of us struggling to bring Carol into a hotel room, and minutes later come out embracing and smiling. But then I am sure he has witnessed stranger! Merciful are you oh Lord. I pray with all my being that you will choose to walk the narrow path of 'Truth' and not the road of deceptive enlightenment. I have received so much more from Jesus than Shakti Gawain; Deepak Chopra & Carlos Castaneda combined can give. I want the same true and deep joy for you as well. I know you probably have a lot of questions. Hopefully, I can answer some of them for you. You don't need to know exactly how a plane flies before you feel safe to buy a ticket. Just do what you know to be right. Listen to that tug on your heart and fly with Jesus. It is much easier with the Lord than without. And if you have accepted the Lord as your Saviour, isn't it awesome!!!!
Lastly, some of you 'New Agers' may say to me that I just got into some bad energy. But I tell you this isn't so. I did almost everything by the book. There have been many other New Age believers who turn to Christ as well. God showed them, like me, the true identity and spirit behind New Age. It is an extremely powerful and believable deception when you are exposed to it. But it is counterfeit light and love. It is all a mask that the darkness wears to deceive you. See-through it, I urge you! I personally pray that Yahweh, the one true God of the Holy Bible, reveals to you the 'Truth' when you are open to it because there is a life that is a far better life than that of one in New Age. I have experienced the good as well as the bad. And there is better. One last thing, remember the veil of innocence you once had when you were a child? The world seemed so harmless and loving. Somewhere in your childhood or youth that veil was removed from you and you now, as an adult, see things for what they really are. Take off your veil and see the real light.
© Supported by: dsphere.cc - Privacy Policy